Five Years Home - May 12th

I cannot believe it's been five years.  Five years of life with my little boy - Ups and downs, stresses, and extreme excitement!!!

This sounds cliche but there is so much love in my heart that it hurts.

Five years ago today I was planning and preparing for my sweet little boy - wondering what he was thinking and what he was doing.  Now today not only can I see what he's doing but he can tell me....in so many smart wonderful ways.  Next year my 'little' boy goes to kindergarten - wah!?!?!?!?

There are so many feeling surrounding our Forever Family Day.  I think about Morgan's birth mom so much - but it intensifies around this time.  I remember meeting her the day after I met my son for the first time - I was a puddle of emotions on the inside - I didn't know which way was up or what my life would be and hers too.  My life became awesome and adventurous and for the most part fun - and of course a learning experience.  There are days where I fear I will ruin my child forever.  I don't know how to say exactly what I feel or express the emotions that surround me.  I know I love my son more that anything in the world and I am honored to be his mom.  I feel humbled, I feel worried, I feel LOVE!!!!

Here is a letter I wrote to Morgan five years ago before we traveled   Letter to Morgan April 2007

And here is one I wrote to him today......
Dear Morgan,
Since I first read your name on the paperwork and saw your beautiful face, my life has never been the same.  I met you Five years ago - I want nothing more than for you to be happy and to feel loved and cared about.  I love you will all of my heart.  I will be forever grateful that your 'Africa Mom' reached out from across the world at the same time I did and we were brought together.  I received your paperwork and picture and you became part of my life.  From the first day I saw your picture I fell in love and KNEW you would my son.

I know you hate what I say I love you all the time, but I will never stop saying it or doing it!!!!  You are my heart and I know that doesn't make any sense to you but someday it will.  I love you from here to the moon and back and to infinity!

Love you,
     Mommy

I posted this on my blog 5 years ago

 - - - - - April 30th, 2007
In case anyone forgot.......


I'm going to Ethiopia.....I'm going to Africa.......I'm going to get my son!!!!!! My mom and I did some travel prep shopping.....we are pretty good so far on the stuff.......our problem will definitely come when we try to fit it all in the luggage!!!! HMMMMM. - - - - - - -

 This brings back so many memories and thoughts - I go back and forth...between has it really been five years and has it ONLY been five years!  

And Morgan today!!!!  Love that lil' boy!!!!!!

Last Fall

There is no way I can say all i want to say so I will say what I said.......

May 12th is our Family Day

Stationery card

Happy New Memories New Year's Card

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View the entire collection of cards.

Merry Christmas 2011

My Brother being the hulk!!

Morgan had a BLAST!!!!!

Morgan was looking at these pics with me and said 'that one hurt a little!!'

Morgan's present to me.....awwwww LOVE IT!!!!

Joshy LOVED his sweatshirt!!

Had to put this picture in here because as i was going to take the picure he threw the pjs AT me!!!  They are mid-air.

Christmas Day - Morgan and I were crawling around the grass (ON DECEMBER 25th!!!) being kitties

 When we got home tonight we found we left one present here.....and of course had to open it!!

The Santa Dilema

Soooooo  I have a Santa dilema.  The problem is I don't want to lie to my boy and I wasn't really into Santa and the whole story when i was little.  My parent never took us to see Santa and I don't recall ever even thinking about it or wanting to do it.  The biggest thing for me is that I don't want to tell my child something true when it's not.  BUT every Christmas kid event there is a santa and that's perfectly fine....but then you get the questions....I don't want to say oh it's all fake, when some families really do the santa thing BIG!!!  Because I'm so torn I've researched others' opinions and how they dealt with it....there is the 'camp' that says it's good for the imagination and it provides mystical fun and believing in the magic of Christmas.....but there are those out there like me.

Yesterday when I was researching I found one persons opinion that fit pretty well with me and how I feel about things.
  " I remember my reaction to finding out that Santa wasn't real. What upset me the most about this revelation wasn't losing my fantasy about Santa. It was realizing that my parents had told me something that was completely WRONG about something that was so IMPORTANT to me. I stopped seeing my parents as a source of unerring wisdom! And THAT is the child's fantasy that I want to foster in my own children. So, to that end, when my DC ask me about Santa, I say it is a wonderful, famous Christmastime STORY. I tell them the STORY of Santa is about a wonderful man who gives to others without expecting anything in return. He isn't even there when the presents are open, so he doesn't even receive thanks and gratitude. I tell them that I love the story of Santa because he follows the example of Christ: giving to others and loving everyone because that is what God wants us all to do. But, when my DC ask if Santa is real, I tell them that I love the story, but I don't think he's real. Then I ask them if THEY think he's real...and so far, they've always said YES!! (Of course they would say the same thing about Dora, Winnie the Pooh, and Nate the Great.) This way, my DC get to enjoy their Santa fantasy, and when they finally realize that he is just a nice story, they will think "Wow, Mommy was right after all!". Lolli, Brian (6) Katherine (3) PS For safety reasons, I have stressed that a big part of the sory is that NOBODY ever sees Santa. So if they see a man dressed as him, that is simply somebody who loves the story of Santa, too. But he is still an ordinary person, so they should never leave with him without me or Daddy."

Not entirely, but that is close to my feelings on the subject.

This may seem like a stupid thing to waste my time worrying about or thinking about but I do and that's me - and I thought I would share and see if there is anyone out there that had thoughts about this subject too.

And of course Morgan sees Santa everywhere; but I'm not willing to outright lie to him.   

So with all that rigamarole we saw Santa twice on Saturday; once for a pancake breakfast and once at a book store event.  And I went about it along the lines of the comment above.....it's about the spirit of giving and some people believe.  He asked me if I believed and I said I don't think so and he said 'well I do' - and I told him that was perfectly fine.

So there you have it....my ramblings on and on and my waffling back and forth about whether or not to post this - Thanks for following this......if that's even possible!!!!

So here are our pictures from yesterday - the last picture is actually the author of a pretty cool book and he read the book to the kids.

 

Starting to Set up Christmas

And a pic of Zep for good measure!!!